Maybe I’m missing the point, life is different for each and every one of us, then it’s also true that blogging means something different to you than it does to me. But it still stands to question, what is blogging really about?

Think about it, millions upon millions of people now have the possibility of blogging; looking at it closer, or maybe further away, can imagine how all these word thoughts look like? Would you be able to make sense out of it? Would anything be able to take a look at all that’s been written and see if there is anything behind it?

Communication is the way of the human, we are constantly expressing our thoughts, feelings, emotions out into the World; we destruct and reconstruct our reality, shaping it even if we don’t realize how or why. We struggle with ourselves trying to find out the best way of how it all works. And we’ve always been bad at figuring out how it’s all connected.

So it’s no wonder that we can’t even begin to imagine what all that’s been written looks like. Of course, many of you may be asking yourselves, what do you mean, what does it looks like? Well, is there anything in common with what we all write, when we look at it as a whole does it make any sense, are there any patterns?

It seems to me, the World being quite flat, that there will come one day when we wake up and realize just what we’ve all been writing about; and it’s going to be quite a story.  So don’t worry, in fact jump in, there’s a whole blogging world just waiting to be read.

This seems to be one of those moments, when I’m dead beat, when I incessantly search for the right words, the right meaning, the right inspiration. When I suddenly realize that I’m too tired to try to fit everything in perfectly, when I’m the square peg in the round hole, that I can relax and blurt out what I feel. And when I don’t mind what other people might think about what I write.

I was reading a post that a friend of mine made about how she regrets a vital decision that she made, a decision that in her mind she would rather take back. It made me take a look at the many decision I have taken, on how they have led me to where I am now, that have shaped the person that I am. I realized that as much pain as some of them have caused, bitter medicine has turned to honey in my mouth.

Had I not made these decisions, I think to myself, would I have had so many beautiful people around me? Would I have even learned to laugh and enjoy it as much? Would I have found the joy of smiling after having cried so long? For a long time I thought that I had lost much, and maybe I have, but I have found the courage within me to look back and learn that if I just keep on walking there’s much more to find hidden underneath the rock ahead. It’s when you stop wanting to walk that you cease to be, and that scares the shit out of me.

I learned a great lesson today from Tom Sawyer. We have a lot to learn from this mischievous redheaded genius. It’s not only that I relish those days when I was a pirate, going on adventures letting time pass by in what seemed like an endless summer; it’s more than that, but it’s only now that I realize what I overlooked before.

It’s human nature; make something hard to get and it will be all the more enticing for others to want whatever you have, even if it’s not important. Can you think of how many times has someone dangled a carrot in front of your eyes? Would you have run after it if it were easy to catch?

Let’s take it a step further; notwithstanding our individuality, we are more likely to act with a herd mentality. We all need to belong. We even go as far as to pay to belong. In fact making it costly is probably what makes belonging so important. Mark Twain noticed this peculiar need, in his words:

“If he (Tom Sawyer) had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and that Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. And this would help him to understand why constructing artificial flowers or performing on a tread-mill is work, while rolling ten-pins or climbing Mont Blanc is only amusement. There are wealthy gentlemen in England who drive four-horse passenger- coaches twenty or thirty miles on a daily line, in the summer, because the privilege costs them considerable money; but if they were offered wages for the service, that would turn it into work and then they would resign”

A simple theory, an understandable paradox. I owe it all to Tom…

How to know when it’s time to move on? How are we prompted to get up and go?

I watch the many animal migrations and wonder, what tells whales to start swimming, the wildebeest to start walking, the geese to fly into the sun?

The journey is never easy; indeed it’s fraught with hardship and the prospect of death. Only the strongest usually survive yet nature finds its way to complete the circle. Life moves on.

Is it the same with men? Most of us may have wandered away from our nomadic past, living in a digital world that seems to be shrinking by the nanosecond. We may not be driven by the waxing and waning of the seasons; or the rains; or our instinct to breed, but an inescapable truth still binds our existence…constant change.

Here’s where our delusion of sameness comes into play; a comfortable reality we weave that binds the way we see things. While we perceive everything around us to be the same; we turn a blind eye to everything that’s not.

Change we are; How are we changing? Where are we changing to? Absent the need to traverse the Serengeti our journey is inwards. Understanding how we function; what drives us and moving towards that state; should that be our migration?

Erich Fromm said “Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let you soul take you where you long to be…Close you eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll live as you’ve never lived before.”

I’m suddenly tempted to follow this wanderlust into who I am. Like the road less traveled; I meet it head on.

I swallowed hard, reminding myself that at 4 months this was more the work of a puppy dog than that of a tree murdering grown canine. One look at his dirt filled face broke me, I could not take it out on him. What purpose would it serve? What lesson would be taught?

I looked down; defeated I started to re-plant my Bonsai…fucking dog…I thought to myself.

Days later, I happened to be reading a book by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross called “The Wheel of Life”; in it I found one of her stories that opened my eyes to the real lesson behind my friend’s demise.

The 6th of October, 1994; this brave woman’s house was burned to the floor. Her father’s journals, her papers and personal diaries, 20.000 case histories of her life’s work, photographs, clothes, everything. It was burned out of hatred and ignorance against a person that was courageous and compassionate enough to work with children with AIDS.

She could have hated the World; she could have wallowed in pain, rightfully so, and taken vengeance against those that wronged her. Instead, she found a lesson to be learned. Realizing that it served no purpose to deny the loss, she accepted it. She reasoned that what was lost was only material objects and that no matter how dear they were to her, they were nothing compared to the value of life.

She would not be denied, nor could she be beaten down.

Days after the fire she went into town, bought a set of clothes and prepared herself to whatever life could throw at her…that was her legacy.

It’s hard to see beauty in things like this. In my case; I know my Bonsai will grow back again, its roots are strong. Maybe its Life’s way of  whispering in my ear…that everything is subject to change.

What do you see in your everyday lives? Do you go about your familiar World, noticing familiar sights, familiar sounds, familiar smells? Do you immerse yourself in details: the subtle light hitting your window, the orange-red leaves, the blue-green dawn caressing the mountains?

Have you ever wondered why we see things the way we do? Have you ever thought there might be more?

I don’t remember what it’s like to see life with a child’s eyes. I look at my son and watch as he transforms his World into his imaginary playground; I wish I could share his view, if only for an instant, I tell myself let me play his game. Many years have passed since I drew cover over my eyes; perhaps I convinced myself that life has nothing more to show me. Nay, I realize that I suffer from being blind, being blind to my inner self.

The other day I was basking in my perceived wisdom, trying to see inside of the walls I’ve made. The invisible walls, dull and lifeless enclosures of my pantomime world. A blatant pretense, only but a shadow nothing but a dream.

I took a deep breath, held it for as long as I could. I told myself: Wake up! Don’t close yourself off from all the life and beauty around you! And so it is, it was my choice to live the way that I was living; now it’s my choice to take the risk of changing the universe around me.

Let me see the World anew for life is but a blink, a wonderful passing moment for me to gaze upon with my kaleidoscope eyes.

This morning, like most mornings I was getting ready to take my 5 year old son to school; as I went through the motions of remembering what I was forgetting, I noticed that we were in fact missing something: a book. I asked Julian where he had put it and we set out to find it. Running around; under the bed, on the desk, in the bathroom, here and there we looked and yet the book remained out of sight.

There we stood in the middle of the room, lulled by our inattentiveness, wondering where could this book be?

In that moment both of us looked down and realized that the book was right between us, sitting atop a chair poised in the middle of the room. I broke out in laughter; this simple act of finding showed me how blind we are to what’s looking at us right in the face.

I remembered this morning while I sat in meditation; as I turned inwards I quietly reminded myself: whatever it is that you’re looking for it might just be…right in front of me.

I am Mind; Mind I am…

That Mind I am! That Mind I am; I do not grasp that Mind I am.

Is Your Mind Here or There?

I do not know if it’s here or there; I do not know if it’s anywhere. I do not, cannot grasp it! Mind I Am.

Can you find it in a House? Would you find it in your House?

I did not find it in a House, I could not find it in my House; I did not find it here or there, I could not find it anywhere! I do not, cannot grasp it Mind I am.

Is it in a box?

Not in a box; not in a house; not here or there, not anywhere!

Would you? Could you? In a tree?  You may grasp it, you will see. Try it and you may, I say.

I cannot find it in a tree, I would not, could not in a tree! Please…let me be.

Say! In the dark? Here in the dark!  Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not in the dark.

Would you, could you in the rain?

Not in the rain, not in the dark. I do not grasp it Mind, you see.

You do not grasp Mind you say?

I do not grasp it, Mind I say.

You do not grasp it, so you say. Open! Open! And you may. Open and you may I say!

If you will let me be, I will Open. You will see.

Say! I see…

I am Mind and Mind is Me.

Not here or there, but EVERYWHERE.

Not that I’m comparing anyone to our equine friend; but when it comes to our problem solving skills, we have a lot in common with our four legged friend’s view of the World. Nothing to the sides; eyes fixed to the front on the same old road.

Lateral thinking is concerned with perceptions; stepping away from how we normally approach problems. Have you ever heard of the expression: “Thinking Outside of the Box”? It’s a perfect description of how lateral thinking works.

Once we find a path to solving a problem we frequently stick to those existing ideas and approaches. This way of doing things creates a sense of certainty and uniformity of changing situations. By the same token, it makes it hard for us to think that there’s more than one way to skin a cat; when it comes to creative thinking we find ourselves being pulled back to our familiar patterns of doing things.

How do we sidestep our one-track mindsets?

Edward de Bono, a leading proponent of lateral thinking, says that we can use a technique called challenging. He states that: “Even in the simplest of situations there are many things to be challenged. There are aspects of the actual situation. Then there are the many concepts that are implicit in the situation. Then there is our ‘current thinking ‘about the actual situation.” To give an example, we might challenge something as simple of us going to the Supermarket, which may lead to new ways of how we buy groceries or pay for them.

There are a lot of things like this that we take for granted, de Bono proposes that we need to ask ourselves the three whys:

Why/A: this stands for ‘Alternatives’. We challenge uniqueness. Is this really the only way to do it? What alternatives might there be?

Why/B: this stands for ‘Because’. What are the reasons we do it this way? Are these reasons still valid? Can we escape from these reasons? Sometimes the reasons are historic and are no longer valid.

Why/C: this stands for ‘Cut’. Can we cut this? do we need to do this at all? What would happen if we simply dropped it?

Sometimes creative thinking doesn’t come from pulling new ideas out of the blue, but rather from looking at familiar concepts with different eyes and asking yourself, could there be something else behind this?

I have a feeling that all this running around is doing nothing but keeping us down. It’s about time we pay attention to where we’re looking for happiness; where can I find happiness? I mean, is it over here? or over there?.

It’s not a light matter in human terms; as I’ve found out, happiness is something that’s been pursued and talked about since the time of the…Ancient Greeks. It seems to me that this is something that been on our minds for quite some time. Of course, nowadays we’re very prone to looking for it in the aisle of our Supermarket…hopefully on discount or with a complimentary gift.

Are we selling ourselves short? Happiness is after all an emotional state of mind; and we’re humans, so unless I’m mistaken having emotions is something that I’m never going to run short of.

The idea that we can increase our happiness by developing an awareness of our emotions, is very plausible to me; I understand of course that this is sour to swallow for many people. It may all sound like feel good with a cherry on top blabber talk; scientists in the nature of human behavior however, have been recognizing the importance of happiness in everything we do (new research even suggests that happiness is a determinant factor of success, but we can talk about that later on) so it’s a good idea to pay attention.

Regardless of what your theories are I think there’s something that you will agree to, everyone wants to be happy. Now that we have something in common, let’s keep on talking; it gets interesting. Emotion is different in each and every one of us; sort of like a blueprint that we create for ourselves from our life experiences. Think of it as a movie, life provides the set and setting, we write ourselves the script as we go along, reflecting and associating feelings from our experiences into emotions that we then inadvertently turn into what we call our lives. Stimulus-Affect-Response.

A positive or negative emotion is determined by our conditioned response to external circumstances. Increasing one’s happiness seems likely if we learn to catch ourselves in the act of who we are. This takes a lot of awareness, it very hard after all to unravel all that we’ve perceived ourselves to be. Our reality after all is a mirror of what our minds have made it out to be.

It’s a good thing that we’re humans; let me explain, we’re in essence emotional creatures; there’s no denying it, we’re emotional factories. The other side of this is that we’re also very open to receive emotions which means that we can be infected by happiness as an emotion. Have you ever walked into a room full of your friends and felt good. How much of this feeling has to do with the sharing of our emotions?

Here’s a thought, let’s say we get the emotional ball rolling…by being happy.  There’s a good chance that by infecting ourselves with happiness we can pass it on to other people. It’s worth a try.

What do you think?