Where Are You Now?



Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
~ Buddha 

Where does your mind dwell? Because it is the moment to moment awareness that determines what reality you choose to create. 

Yes there is the future. As well as the past. But they are not the choice of Who You Really Are. They are very much an illusion. The story that you tell your self and that therefore experience. You are creating some one else with that choice. And, it is always your choice. 

Seek to be the choice of the Now. For you are that choice of being, from being, and towards being. 

Love that ever present awareness, and so, watch it all unfold and pass away. Becoming and dying and being reborn again. 

Love it all and discover your own truth as you remember Who You Really Are. 


Are You Blogging?

What are exactly what you’re supposed to blog about? I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t exactly taught how all this blogging thing works. To me, it’s hard enough understanding what’s  going on in my mind without trying to get it all out through words.

Maybe I’m missing the point, life is different for each and every one of us, then it’s also true that blogging means something different to you than it does to me. But it still stands to question, what is blogging really about?

Think about it, millions upon millions of people now have the possibility of blogging; looking at it closer, or maybe further away, can imagine how all these word thoughts look like? Would you be able to make sense out of it? Would anything be able to take a look at all that’s been written and see if there is anything behind it?

Communication is the way of the human, we are constantly expressing our thoughts, feelings, emotions out into the World; we destruct and reconstruct our reality, shaping it even if we don’t realize how or why. We struggle with ourselves trying to find out the best way of how it all works. And we’ve always been bad at figuring out how it’s all connected.

So it’s no wonder that we can’t even begin to imagine what all that’s been written looks like. Of course, many of you may be asking yourselves, what do you mean, what does it looks like? Well, is there anything in common with what we all write, when we look at it as a whole does it make any sense, are there any patterns?

It seems to me, the World being quite flat, that there will come one day when we wake up and realize just what we’ve all been writing about; and it’s going to be quite a story.  So don’t worry, in fact jump in, there’s a whole blogging world just waiting to be read.

The Road Ahead

Writing is an enjoyable art, most days I have to spoon it out of my brain but when I do manage to look inside it seems to pour out of me and takes on a special meaning. At least to me.

This seems to be one of those moments, when I’m dead beat, when I incessantly search for the right words, the right meaning, the right inspiration. When I suddenly realize that I’m too tired to try to fit everything in perfectly, when I’m the square peg in the round hole, that I can relax and blurt out what I feel. And when I don’t mind what other people might think about what I write.

I was reading a post that a friend of mine made about how she regrets a vital decision that she made, a decision that in her mind she would rather take back. It made me take a look at the many decision I have taken, on how they have led me to where I am now, that have shaped the person that I am. I realized that as much pain as some of them have caused, bitter medicine has turned to honey in my mouth.

Had I not made these decisions, I think to myself, would I have had so many beautiful people around me? Would I have even learned to laugh and enjoy it as much? Would I have found the joy of smiling after having cried so long? For a long time I thought that I had lost much, and maybe I have, but I have found the courage within me to look back and learn that if I just keep on walking there’s much more to find hidden underneath the rock ahead. It’s when you stop wanting to walk that you cease to be, and that scares the shit out of me.

What Do You Call Work?

Tom Sawyer

I learned a great lesson today from Tom Sawyer. We have a lot to learn from this mischievous redheaded genius. It’s not only that I relish those days when I was a pirate, going on adventures letting time pass by in what seemed like an endless summer; it’s more than that, but it’s only now that I realize what I overlooked before.

It’s human nature; make something hard to get and it will be all the more enticing for others to want whatever you have, even if it’s not important. Can you think of how many times has someone dangled a carrot in front of your eyes? Would you have run after it if it were easy to catch?

Let’s take it a step further; notwithstanding our individuality, we are more likely to act with a herd mentality. We all need to belong. We even go as far as to pay to belong. In fact making it costly is probably what makes belonging so important. Mark Twain noticed this peculiar need, in his words:

“If he (Tom Sawyer) had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and that Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. And this would help him to understand why constructing artificial flowers or performing on a tread-mill is work, while rolling ten-pins or climbing Mont Blanc is only amusement. There are wealthy gentlemen in England who drive four-horse passenger- coaches twenty or thirty miles on a daily line, in the summer, because the privilege costs them considerable money; but if they were offered wages for the service, that would turn it into work and then they would resign”

A simple theory, an understandable paradox. I owe it all to Tom…


Moving On

How to know when it’s time to move on? How are we prompted to get up and go?

I watch the many animal migrations and wonder, what tells whales to start swimming, the wildebeest to start walking, the geese to fly into the sun?

The journey is never easy; indeed it’s fraught with hardship and the prospect of death. Only the strongest usually survive yet nature finds its way to complete the circle. Life moves on.

Is it the same with men? Most of us may have wandered away from our nomadic past, living in a digital world that seems to be shrinking by the nanosecond. We may not be driven by the waxing and waning of the seasons; or the rains; or our instinct to breed, but an inescapable truth still binds our existence…constant change.

Here’s where our delusion of sameness comes into play; a comfortable reality we weave that binds the way we see things. While we perceive everything around us to be the same; we turn a blind eye to everything that’s not.

Change we are; How are we changing? Where are we changing to? Absent the need to traverse the Serengeti our journey is inwards. Understanding how we function; what drives us and moving towards that state; should that be our migration?

Erich Fromm said “Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let you soul take you where you long to be…Close you eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll live as you’ve never lived before.”

I’m suddenly tempted to follow this wanderlust into who I am. Like the road less traveled; I meet it head on.

A 4 Minute Lesson in Non-Attachment

I learned a lesson in non-attachment the other day. Newton, my dog, had decided to get it on with my 10-year Bonsai; needless to say my old green friend lost the fight. While I looked in horror at my uprooted friend a flash on anger suddenly overtook me.

I swallowed hard, reminding myself that at 4 months this was more the work of a puppy dog than that of a tree murdering grown canine. One look at his dirt filled face broke me, I could not take it out on him. What purpose would it serve? What lesson would be taught?

I looked down; defeated I started to re-plant my Bonsai…fucking dog…I thought to myself.

Days later, I happened to be reading a book by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross called “The Wheel of Life”; in it I found one of her stories that opened my eyes to the real lesson behind my friend’s demise.

The 6th of October, 1994; this brave woman’s house was burned to the floor. Her father’s journals, her papers and personal diaries, 20.000 case histories of her life’s work, photographs, clothes, everything. It was burned out of hatred and ignorance against a person that was courageous and compassionate enough to work with children with AIDS.

She could have hated the World; she could have wallowed in pain, rightfully so, and taken vengeance against those that wronged her. Instead, she found a lesson to be learned. Realizing that it served no purpose to deny the loss, she accepted it. She reasoned that what was lost was only material objects and that no matter how dear they were to her, they were nothing compared to the value of life.

She would not be denied, nor could she be beaten down.

Days after the fire she went into town, bought a set of clothes and prepared herself to whatever life could throw at her…that was her legacy.

It’s hard to see beauty in things like this. In my case; I know my Bonsai will grow back again, its roots are strong. Maybe its Life’s way of  whispering in my ear…that everything is subject to change.

Kaleidoscope Eyes

The light in the room out there is simply beautiful. There are little dust motes floating in the air and I think they’re singing songs…

What do you see in your everyday lives? Do you go about your familiar World, noticing familiar sights, familiar sounds, familiar smells? Do you immerse yourself in details: the subtle light hitting your window, the orange-red leaves, the blue-green dawn caressing the mountains?

Have you ever wondered why we see things the way we do? Have you ever thought there might be more?

I don’t remember what it’s like to see life with a child’s eyes. I look at my son and watch as he transforms his World into his imaginary playground; I wish I could share his view, if only for an instant, I tell myself let me play his game. Many years have passed since I drew cover over my eyes; perhaps I convinced myself that life has nothing more to show me. Nay, I realize that I suffer from being blind, being blind to my inner self.

The other day I was basking in my perceived wisdom, trying to see inside of the walls I’ve made. The invisible walls, dull and lifeless enclosures of my pantomime world. A blatant pretense, only but a shadow nothing but a dream.

I took a deep breath, held it for as long as I could. I told myself: Wake up! Don’t close yourself off from all the life and beauty around you! And so it is, it was my choice to live the way that I was living; now it’s my choice to take the risk of changing the universe around me.

Let me see the World anew for life is but a blink, a wonderful passing moment for me to gaze upon with my kaleidoscope eyes.